Thursday, March 13, 2014

NOT ROMANTIC Posted by Louis Cook James, Jr. on March 13, 2014 at 8:47pm Greenwich Mean Time

23 Ways You Know You’re Not The Romantic Type

Is there a handbook or something?posted on 

1. When you played “house” as a kid, you were always the pet. Or the single, wealthy aunt.

When you played "house" as a kid, you were always the pet. Or the single, wealthy aunt.
Universal Pictures / Via weheartit.com

2. You’re not sure what’s so special about a 45-minute wait to eat a meal that costs too much.

You're not sure what's so special about a 45-minute wait to eat a meal that costs too much.
Warner Home Video

3. Getting all dolled up to impress someone else seems a ridiculous waste of your time.

Getting all dolled up to impress someone else seems a ridiculous waste of your time.
AMC
Wouldn’t it be more fun to wear matching sweat pants and catch up on The Walking Dead?

4. It feels wrong to you that people pluck unsuspecting flowers to give as gifts.

It feels wrong to you that people pluck unsuspecting flowers to give as gifts.
HBO
Why? To watch it wither and die in a vase?

5. To you, being swept off your feet sounds like a dangerous activity best left to professionals.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
Vestron Pictures / Via mlle-leelee.tumblr.com

6. Sharing a bed seems more like an invasion of your personal space than a good time..

Sharing a bed seems more like an invasion of your personal space than a good time..
Screenvision
EVERY SIDE OF THE BED IS YOUR SIDE.

7. In your vernacular, “breakfast in bed” translates to “crumbs in sheets.”

In your vernacular, "breakfast in bed" translates to "crumbs in sheets."
ABC

8. Someone throwing rocks at your window isn’t romantic. It’s an accident waiting to happen.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
New Yorker Films / Via dudy.fr

9. Being serenaded sounds embarrassing and awful for everyone involved.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
Universal Pictures / Via youtube.com
Unless J.T. himself is singing to you, you’re not interested.

10. It is beyond your comprehension how people can come up with so many obnoxious pet names.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
CBS / TriStar Television / Via wifflegif.com

11. You notice that most love letters are riddled with grammatical errors.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
Columbia Pictures / Via seriously-kidding.tumblr.com

12. More thought has gone into your honeymoon than your actual wedding.

More thought has gone into your honeymoon than your actual wedding.
Walt Disney
Traveling to exotic locations > suffering through a needlessly drawn-out ceremony.

13. You wonder if people get ear sweat during two hour “I miss you” telephone conversations.

You wonder if people get ear sweat during two hour "I miss you" telephone conversations.
HBO

14. So you’re supposed to spend all of your hard-earned cash to take someone else out? Does not compute.

So you're supposed to spend all of your hard-earned cash to take someone else out? Does not compute.
AMC

15. You firmly believe that PDA is TMI.

You firmly believe that PDA is TMI.
Warner Bros. / CW

16. Anytime someone opens a door for you, you suspect foul play.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
AMC / Via sparklymorons.com

17. It doesn’t seem logical to you to share your innermost feelings with someone you haven’t known long.

18. Receiving a mixtape/playlist means pretending to like songs you would never suffer through on your own.

Receiving a mixtape/playlist means pretending to like songs you would never suffer through on your own.
HBO

19. In your opinion, a long walk on the beach sounds exhausting and messy.

In your opinion, a long walk on the beach sounds exhausting and messy.
The Disney Channel

20. Your solo dance moves are on point. A partner would just muck up the works.

23 Ways You Know You're Not The Romantic Type
NBC / Warner Bros / Via whatculture.com

21. Each romance novel or relationship help book you read incites several eye rolls.

Each romance novel or relationship help book you read incites several eye rolls.
Screengems
So much for research.

22. You have a few serious, scientific questions about love but no one can answer them.

23. Honestly, the only romantic gesture you understand is the chocolatey kind.

Honestly, the only romantic gesture you understand is the chocolatey kind.
Miramax Films
Now THIS is love.
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STILL NOT ROMANTIC Posted by Louis Cook James, Jr. on March 13, 2014 at 8:47pm Greenwich Mean Time

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